Kia Bing-Davies how to get out of your comfort zone

Do You Want To Be Free From Your Comfort Zone?

This week I’m so excited to welcome Kia Bing-Davies as my guest blogger.  Kia is one of the most amazing women I’ve ever had the privilege to meet.  The second time we met we just knew we had much more than a love of dogs in common!  We both love helping people and guiding them to live happier more fulfilled lives.   Originally from the US, Kia trained as a lawyer, but realised she was destined for much more… In this week’s blog Kia shares how she got out of her own way and now leads the life of her dreams doing what she loves.

Okay I’m Going For It!

You’ve decided that you want to lose some weight, hand in your notice, start you own business or write that novel that’s been brewing inside of you. It’s time to make a start. Today. Right now.

Well, maybe in a little while. Just after you do one load of laundry. Or empty the dishwasher or clean out the refrigerator or check your emails.

procrastination keeps you in comfort zone

Again. Even better, you make a list of things you want to accomplish for the week and then you end up doing all of the “quick win” things that don’t really have anything to do with the big thing you want to accomplish. Or you do other things that aren’t on the list and then add them at the end of the list to show how busy you have been during the day.

Do these procrastinating, self-sabotaging tactics sound familiar? Or, is it just me?

Well, just in case I’m not just talking to myself and you can relate to what I am saying like we are long-lost cousins, I thought I would clue you in on what could be blocking your success. You are pushing yourself out of your comfort zone – and this one act can stop you in your tracks or spur you on.

Time To Look At Myself

I thought back to my own behaviour.  To all of the times when I felt the most alive, when I performed the best, when I had the most fun and the most a-ha moments.  It was when I was outside of my comfort zone.  Examples include …..

  • Jumping on a plane to move to a foreign country with no job;
  • Camping solo on the top of a mountain for 5 days with just a tent and a bag of apples;
  • Booking my wedding in a place neither my husband nor I had ever been;
  • Quitting my job to start my counselling and coaching practice.

camping on a mountain out of comfort zone

I realized that I thrive on being a little out of my comfort zone.  I enjoy the sheer buzz of it and I love pushing myself.  But even for me there can be a point where the discomfort of trying something new can give me pause.

It sounds silly, right? Getting out of your comfort zone should not put an end to your dreams, goals or ambitions before they begin.  But it happens to many of us. Why? What is a comfort zone and how can you step out of it without pinging yourself back in like a giant rubber band?

What Is A Comfort Zone?

Firstly, what is a comfort zone? Your comfort zone is just that. It is literally that familiar space where you are currently operating. Your comfort zone is your habits, how you behave in your normal day-to-day life and what activities you participate in regularly.

You operate in this zone because your brain has decided that nothing to date has killed you and it knows exactly what to do because it has been presented with many scenarios up to this point, which it has navigated successfully.

The thing with your brain is, it hates change. Your brain is wired to avoid pain and keep you out of danger. It wants to keep you safe and therefore it will work hard to avoid any new situation it has not encountered before. Stepping outside of your comfort zone certainly qualifies.

So, now are you are asking how you condition your brain to let you do new stuff?  The short answer is to pacify the brain with what I like to call “Stretch Behaviours”.  These help to create new neural pathways to success.

 tips to get out of comfort zone

 Sounds Good How Do I Actually Do It?

 Get To Know Your Why

Why do you want what you want? Why do you want to accomplish this goal? Is it your goal or are you doing it for someone else?

Come Up With Three Feeling Words

How do you want to feel when you reach the finish line? What are the prevailing emotions? Where is it in your body? Feel into those words and amplify the feelings. Make them bigger and brighter.

Start Small

What is something different that you can do right now, today that is in line with your ultimate goal? By accomplishing your small thing, you are showing your brain that you are safe and this increases your ability to take bigger steps toward your goals.

Stretching!

Do this new thing for a few days. When it begins to feel comfortable, change what you are doing and stretch yourself so that you are increasing the scope of your actions.

For example, if running a marathon is your goal, start with jogging 1 mile. When that is comfortable, increase to 2 or 3 or whatever stretches you. Be careful not to overstretch though.

If the stretch is too big a leap, this can kick you into fear mode and cause you to head back to the comfort zone.

Visualise Your End Goal

Make this as vivid as possible. Now visualise all of the steps that you will have taken to get there. Make those as vivid and detailed as possible.

What actions did you take? Which people were instrumental in helping you?

The brain cannot tell if what it is seeing is reality or fantasy. If you replay this enough, your brain will help you to create, act upon and deliver your goals.

Visualise away!

visualise your goals

Inspiration

Find people who inspire you – people who have overcome great obstacles, have had great ideas, a unique creative process or a strong work ethic. Talk to them if you can or read their biography. Find inspiration wherever you can. If they can do it, you can too!

Birds Of A Feather

Your activity levels, performance and earning potential are the average of your six closest contacts.

Surround yourself with positive and driven people and you will be too.

Find A Mentor

Mentors are fabulous because they have been where you are, so know all of the hurdles that you face and have overcome them.

A mentor can help to guide you and push you in all the right directions.

Accountability Buddy

Find someone who can hold you accountable when you set tasks for yourself. It is much harder to miss a deadline when someone else knows about it!

Believe In Yourself

Believe, breathe and keep going.

Knowing that you can do anything you set your mind to.

Remember to slow down and take a breath, giving yourself some space for creativity to flow.

And keep going – taking one step at a time until you reach your goals!

Just Remember …

Comfort zones are fine if you want to stay where you are. But, if you want the life of your dreams, keep pushing yourself until your Stretch Zone becomes your new Comfort Zone. This is where all of the magic is!

Kia Bing-Davies how to get out of your comfort zoneAbout Kia

Philadelphia-born Spiritual Counsellor, Life Coach, Writer and Vlogger, Kia Bing-Davies has always been guided by her intuition and overwhelming desire to connect to everyone and everything on a deeper level. Following a successful career in PR and Law that took in New York, Hawaii, the Canary Islands and UK, Kia eventually decided to quit her former career and pursue her Spiritual Counselling and Transformational Life Coaching practice full time. Her passion is to help people, especially women, to live happy and fulfilled lives by strengthening their own internal compass, feminine expression and realignment with purpose. She is the founder of the Women’s Knowing Circle, based in Buckinghamshire, which aims to connect women to their intuition and intrinsic knowing.

“I believe that we all have more potential than we know but we need to realign with our true nature and purpose. It is my mission to help my clients do just that by having powerful breakthroughs and seeing that they are limitless, unstoppable and are able to have and achieve whatever their hearts desire.”

Kia is qualified in Spiritual Counselling, Hypnotherapy, Life Coaching, Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT), Matrix Reimprinting, Soul Plan, Soul Transformation Therapy, Reiki (Master), Crystal Therapy and Meditation. Check out Kia’s website here

 

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Enough Sleep Rachel McGuinness

What You Need To know About Getting Enough Sleep

enough sleepWhen I don’t get enough sleep I go into overwhelm at a moment’s notice. I make endless lists and start tasks.  But seldom finish them as I can’t concentrate!

No amount of make up and fake tan is going to compensate for my pallid and dull complexion.   Even my favourite ‘go to outfit’ doesn’t look right. Why? Simple if I don’t feel fabulous on the inside I’ll struggle to look and feel right on the outside.

Thankfully this is now a rare occurrence since I left the corporate world. Stress and long haul travel were both major factors that contributed to my lack and poor quality of sleep.   But I count myself lucky, as it turns out 75% of us don’t get enough quality sleep.

enough sleep make up

I asked sleep expert, Rachel McGuinness to give me some insights and some tips on how much is enough sleep and how we improve the quality of our sleep.

How Much Sleep Do We Need?

RMcG: Humans are biologically hard wired to need between 7 and 9 hours quality sleep a night. Only 25% of us actually achieve that, most of us ‘survive’ on only 5 to 6 hours sleep.

The odd bad night’s sleep may mean we feel a bit out of sorts the following day and we may look drained with bags appearing under our eyes.

But insufficient quality sleep on a long-term basis can mean we’re at risk of serious long-term consequences.

What Do You Mean By Quality Sleep?

RMcG: Basically the measure of a good night’s sleep is that you wake up feeling refreshed and ready for the day ahead.

While the current thinking is that we need between 7-9 hours sleep per night, everybody is different.   When we sleep our bodies go through different stages of sleep in cycles.

However, the general consensus is that ideally we need 20% of our time asleep to be classified as deep sleep or ‘maintenance mode’.

enough sleep

What Happens When We Sleep?

RMcG: When we sleep properly, our bodies go into a maintenance mode.

Just like a computer; the screen saver is on, but there’s a lot going on in the background!

The body resets its systems and does its updates. The brain processes all the events of the day and puts memories into storage.

Most importantly, your body is repairing cells, muscles and tissues and cleans up the dangerous free radicals that have built up.

The brain and lymphatic tissues flush out the build-up of decaying cells and toxins and regulates and resets our blood pressure, hormones, metabolism and appetite.

So Insufficient Sleep Can Have A Serious Impact On Our Body?

RMcG: Sleep deprivation can lead to higher blood pressure, increased risk of heart disease and strokes.  You are also at risk of weight gain and type 2 Diabetes.

It’s likely you will wake up feeling tired, grouchy and hungry.  This is because not getting enough sleep plays havoc with the hormones and biochemicals that tell our brain we’ve had enough to eat and supress our appetite.

enough sleep coffee and cake

If you do not get enough sleep your body also releases higher levels of insulin. This means we store more fat and are at risk of developing type 2 Diabetes.

This means we are tempted to reach for carbs and sugar for a quick fix of energy. This is a fast release of energy and you’re likely to come crashing back down, needing another fix.

A lack of quality sleep can also suppress our immune system. This means we’re more at risk or becoming ill as our antibodies are suppressed. We can also take longer to recover from illness.

What Happens To Our Skin When We Don’t Have Enough Sleep?

RMcG: Your skin will also suffer. Your body won’t have been able to clean out all the toxins or balance its hydration.

Consequently you can end up with dry skin, puffy eyes and wrinkles. Let alone those unsightly bags under your eyes.

Sleep deprivation can also reduce your skin’s natural bounce and glow. This happens because our blood flow is decreased. This can increase the risk of redness and breakouts. You may develop acne and other dermatological problems.

If you do not get enough sleep the repair process of your skin will slow down. The result being that you will look older. The term beauty sleep is more than just a Colloquialism!

enough sleep skincare

If We Don’t Have Enough Sleep Can This Impact Our Brain?

RMcG: Absolutely.

Not having enough sleep will leave us feeling sluggish and our concentration suffers. Over a longer period of time not getting enough sleep can lead to depression. It also stifles our creativity.

As you know if you’re feeling sluggish and out of sorts this will impact the way you feel about yourself.

If you don’t feel great on the inside no amount of make up and your favourite outfit is going to make you feel fabulous about yourself. This in turn can affect your self-confidence.

Not getting enough sleep can also be downright dangerous. If our ability to think clearly is impacted just think what this does to our driving!

Lack of a good night’s sleep will also see you regularly hitting the ‘snooze button’ for a few more minutes in bed making you wake up later than you should.

You’ll be in a mad rush against time. Consequently you will probably skip a good breakfast, and skimp on your daily skin routine, makeup and hair!

The chances are you’ll throw on the first thing you find in your wardrobe. That’s not the best way to step out of the house in the morning!

 

How Do We Make It Easier To Get Enough Sleep?

RMcG: To get a good night’s sleep you need to follow these easy to implement tips:

  • Switch off your tech an hour before bed – the blue light makes your body think it’s daytime and will keep you awake and wired.
  • Make sure your bedroom is relaxing, cool and airy.
  • Cut down on stimulants like caffeine, alcohol and nicotine.
  • Do something relaxing before bedtime – TV thrillers and stressful news programmes will stop your brain switching off.
  • Get into a regular bedtime and wake up time, even at weekends to ensure you get your 7 to 9 hours of quality sleep.

enough sleep and quality sleep

About Rachel McGuinness

Rachel is a health and well being expert who inspires, educates and motivates busy professional people who want to get healthy, but don’t have time to work it out for themselves.

She focuses on two areas essential for optimum health and survival – eating smart and sleeping well. She helps her clients to:

  • Wake up feeling refreshed and ready to start their day
  • Have loads more energy
  • Lose weight healthily and maintain it
  • Look incredible
  • Feel amazing

Enough Sleep Rachel McGuinness

Contact details: rachel@zestlifestyle.com     www.zestlifestyle.com     07880 557976

Facebook and Twitter: @zestlifestyle Instagram: @zestylady Linked In: Rachel McGuinness

Would You Like To Guest Blog?

This year I’m interested in expanding the topics that I offer on my blog.  So I’m looking for some amazing women whose businesses and interests complement Want Her Outfit.  If you’re interested, please contact me using the form below.

Thanks x

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Philippa Taylor Simple Ways To Feel Fab

Philippa Taylor: Simple Ways To Feel Fab

This week I’m delighted to welcome Philippa Taylor as my guest blogger.  Philippa is one of the happiest most cheerful women I know.  She genuinely has a great big grin on her face every time I see her! I asked if she would share her secrets!  Philippa told me that there were no secrets just a few simple ways to feel fab!

Philippa Taylor Simple Ways To Feel Fab

Have You Binned Your Resolutions Yet?

Traditionally January is the month to make resolutions (most of which will be binned by the end of the month).  We are also deluged with endless ‘new year new you’ articles in the media.

Personal development is something which should, in my opinion, be part of your everyday life and not just for January.  Do you want to boost your wellbeing in the long term?  Then follow some simple ways to feel fab rather than making wholesale changes to your lifestyle.

Simple Ways To Feel Fab Starts With Self-Care

Part of personal development is recognising that you need to look after yourself properly first.  It’s no accident that you’re advised to put on your oxygen mask first before helping others on a plane!

Put together a range of simple ways to feel fab.  You’ll create your own wellbeing routine made up of easy-to-follow healthy habits.  These might include:  daily exercise, spending time with good friends, eating well and sleeping enough.

As a working mum  I don’t have the headspace or the time to follow elaborate wellbeing plans.  I look for simple life hacks  which will have a significant impact on my daily life.  These hacks must enable me to get as much out of life as I used to decades ago!

For those of us who are of a certain vintage, we may find our levels of wellbeing have declined over time.  If your to-do list doesn’t shrink at the rate it once did, chances are your wellbeing levels need a boost. A recent survey says that Brits believe that you stop being young at 35 and start being old at 58.  This is not a huge window of time to be middle-aged! We all age at vastly different rates.  Some people are much older or younger than their biological age.

Wherever you are on this spectrum, there are a number of simple ways to feel fab which you can put in place now:

1. Sleep

According to research by the Sleep Council, nearly half of us are getting just six hours sleep or less a night. Jason Ellis, Professor in Psychology at Northumbria University and Director of the Northumbria Centre for Sleep Research has these simple tips for better sleep:

  • Check that your pillow hasn’t reached its sell-by date and still gives your head and neck the support you need.
  • Test your pillow by holding it out longways in front of you. If you’ve got pillow droop, buy a new one!
  • If you can’t sleep, try a taxing task such as counting backwards from 1,000 rather than counting sheep
  • Turn off all your electronics so there isn’t any blue light in the room.
  • Don’t have a clock facing you when you’re in bed or you’re likely to clock watch
  • Leave at least two hours between exercising or having a bath and going to bed so that you have a chance to cool down which will aid sleeping
  • Regulate your liquid intake before bedtime so that you avoid nocturnal bathroom visits
  • Choose your mattress carefully – you spend a third of your life in bed so take care and time when selecting a new one

simple ways to feel fab

2. Exercise

Find the activity that you love and you’ll never exercise a day in your life.

Take a moment and think about the things you love. Are you sociable and enjoy being amongst people? Activities with a strong social element like Nordic walking, running clubs and Bootcamp would likely appeal to you.

Prefer something a bit more dance-related? Zumba, Jazzercise, Ceroc, Ballroom or Hip-Hop classes would be straight up your street. Fancy something quieter? Pilates, yoga or stretch classes would fit the bill.

exercise improves self-esteem

3. Treats

Simple ways to feel fab when you want to treat yourself include a bath with your favourite book, a glass of wine and some candles.  Or why not enjoy a long walk in the countryside?  Invite good friends over for a nutritious and healthy supper.

There’s no need to spend lots of money on pampering or expensive evenings out when small treats will give you the life-affirming lift you need.

4. Health

Private healthcare companies offer pricey medical assessments.  But most of the time the lifestyle and diet advice you end up with is just common sense.

Keep up to date with important medical appointments.  Do not skip appointments for: a smear test, breast screening, eye test or dental hygienist appointment.  Speaking to your doctor if you feel run down, are simple ways to feel fab and stay healthy.

5. Your Body 

Stop yo-yo dieting by taking control of what you eat. Keep an honest food diary for a week, writing down everything that you eat and drink. By the end of it you should be able to see where you’re wasting those calories. A study shows that the ages at which we are most susceptible to putting on weight start at 38 for women and 44 for men so it makes sense to monitor your calorie intake to still enjoy a little, not a lot, of what you fancy!

Simple Ways To Feel Fab

6. Anti-Ageing

Have you ever cut open an apple and seen it go brown? The apple’s oxidised after being exposed to oxygen in the air, causing a rapid increase in its ageing process. Oxidative stress occurs in humans with every breath we take.  When we breathe we take in oxygen which creates free radicals (unstable molecules that can damage the cells in your body).

Antioxidants are chemicals that help protect the body from the harmful effects of free radicals. In modern times it is argued that the effects of oxidative stress have never been greater as we live in increasingly polluted environments, live stressful lifestyles and medicines/prescription drugs are widely used.

As we age, our bodies naturally produce fewer antioxidants to neutralise the damage caused by free radicals. Free radicals damage cells so, over time, whatever organ those cells belong to isn’t going to function quite as well as it should. For example, collagen gets weaker and as a result, your skin gets more wrinkles. A simple way to feel fab is to lower your oxidative stress levels by taking take one Protandim tablet every day, which is clinically proven to trigger the cells in your body to naturally increase the production of antioxidants. Better sleep, better energy levels and better recovery are the most commonly reported benefits of taking Protandim.

simple ways to feel fab

7. Wellbeing Review

I’d like to share an exercise with you that may help you evaluate which areas of your wellbeing would benefit from a 2017 reboot. I’d like you to choose a year which, with 20:20 hindsight, saw you
at being at your wellbeing peak: perhaps it was the year you got married, went travelling or were successful in something you enjoyed doing?

Got one? Good. Mine is 1999 when I was 38. I was representing GB in dragon boating so was as fit as a butcher’s dog, working in a PR agency in a role I loved, and looking forward to getting married the following year. Or I could have chosen 1983 when I was 22. I was in my second year at Uni and was enjoying reading for most of the day (I did an English degree!), rowing for my college and partying more than I ever had before, or since come to think of it!

Take a few minutes and jot down some notes on how you felt then. Leave the list and go back to it another time and complete the Now column.

The simple ways to feel fab which you can put in place now to boost your wellbeing may jump off the page at you or you may want to ask a friend/wellbeing expert for some advice. The most important thing is that you recognise which areas of your life need a boost and then action the simple ways to feel fab on a daily/weekly basis.

wellbeing review

Summary Simple Ways To Feel Fab

Finally although I can’t turn the clock back for you, I hope that this simple exercise has highlighted some areas of your life which you can revisit. Furthermore if you keep it simple you stand a chance of sticking with it.

Thank you for reading.  If you’d like to check out more simple ways to feel fab, please visit my blog with guest posts from a great selection of experts (including Carol of course!) and my website.  You can also find me on social media:

 

Twitter: @feelfabdirect

Facebook: @ProtandimGlobalFeelFabDirect

 

 

 

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self care and your wardrobe

Do You Practise Self Care With Your Wardrobe

self care put on your own oxygen maskPut on your own oxygen mask before helping others! I love the air travel safety briefing analogy to demonstrate the importance of self care.

As women we are excellent at putting ourselves to the back of the queue when it comes to caring and nurturing.

We are far more likely to put family, friends, our employers or our clients first.

While on one hand this is very commendable long-term it is not sustainable.

To use another analogy, how can we drive everyone home from the party if we have no fuel in the car!

What does this have to do with your wardrobe? Plenty!

Self care includes looking and feeling the best version of yourself you can possibly be!  You will be more confident, resilient and full of energy if you know you look fantastic!

In this post we will look at the bad habits we develop with regard to our clothes. I’m betting you are going to be nodding or squirming when you read some of these! This is fine so long as you take steps to stop those habits right now!

Give up the self-loathing habit

Loathing is a strong word but let’s face it that’s what we do! As women we tell ourselves that we have fat thighs, bingo wings, chunky calves, the list goes on!

self care stop loathing your body

How often do we tell ourselves that we have a fantastic butt, we have stunning eyes, or we have gorgeous boobs?   That’s right not often enough!!

But rather than focus purely on our physical attributes we should be focusing on a more holistic approach and considering our:

  • Inner Qualities
  • Unique Gifts
  • Blessings
  • Resources

Focus on our positive attributes physical, emotional and spiritual to see how much better you feel.

Tip: Create a list of the above that apply to you.

If lists aren’t for you then perhaps you can do this as a collage or a mind map? It needs to be something you can refer to regularly.  Don’t just bury in a drawer!

 Stop Comparing!

This is another human trait, which we frequently exercise and women tend to practice more than men.   We believe that others look better, slimmer, and prettier or have more style than we do ourselves.

self care is not comparing yourself to others

We will be looking at other women with rose tinted spectacles and glaring at ourselves in the fat mirror!!

It’s very easy to say stop but much harder to break a destructive habit. I suggest you try to write down three nice memories at the end of each day.

It doesn’t have to be about your wardrobe, but as we’re focusing on self care and your wardrobe it could be a good place to start!

For example: perhaps you wore a favourite necklace and someone paid you a complement about it.

Tip: try this for a week and see if you notice a difference in how you feel about yourself and how you feel in comparison to others.

 Dress for Now!

Hands up anyone who has put off going shopping because they don’t love their bodies?

We justify our decision by telling ourselves that we’re just going to slim down a dress size, or we are going to lose weight.

anorexia

Investing in new clothes can be a great incentive to losing weight or getting in shape. BUT if you have a weight loss goal that may take some time to achieve you owe it to yourself to look and feel fantastic while you are losing weight.

Be honest with yourself – are you reluctant to go shopping because you may need a bigger size?

Many women (myself included) struggle to admit we need a bigger size.

I’ve left clothes on the rails because I couldn’t get into size 8 and would have to buy a 10! Over time I’ve learnt to accept that correct fit is much more important than size.

 Tip: Lumps and bumps show – unlike labels. If it helps you then cut the size label out!

You are worth full price!

How often do you find yourself gravitating to the sale rail when you first enter a store?

self care do not buy bargains

Hands up from me again as I used to do this every time I went shopping!

This wasn’t about budget or bargain hunting (though I might have justified my actions that way!).  I really was not practising self care but the subliminal message was that I was not worth full price.

How often do you find that reduced price item still lurking at the back of your wardrobe months, even years later unloved and unworn?

You may be very lucky and find a genuine bargain but the primary reason that items are reduced is because they haven’t sold at full price. Retailers are discounting to shift stock, not because they want to be generous!

 Tip: If you only shop from reduced items you’ll find yourself compromising.

You may accept that the colour or style is not right but it’s a bargain. Guess what you will not feel or look fantastic when you wear that outfit.

 Stop saving it for best!

How many of us buy something that we love, looks amazing and then we don’t wear it.

We tell ourselves that we are waiting for the right occasion or it was expensive, so we’ll keep it for best.

I am not suggesting that you wear a sequin dress to do the weekly supermarket shop (although it could be fun with a friend and a camera!).

self care is about self love

But if you buy something you really love and makes you look and feel fantastic then maximize your investment!  Practising self care means  treating yourself with love and respect.

If it’s a top or pair of trousers find as many ways to pair it up as possible!   A dress? Then accessorize using different jewellery or scarves.

I love wearing maxi dresses in the summer and my favourite is a clingy grey number that always makes me feel sexy.

I wear with heels and suede fringed jacket for smart look; denim jacket, bright chunky jewellery and flats for a boho style or on it’s own with a scarf.

 Tip: Start creating and stop denying yourself – you are worth it!

self care love yourself

I hope that this post has given you a flavour of how you can practise self care with your wardrobe.   Give my tips a try and see if it makes a difference.  I’d love to hear from you if you find any of my tips work or if you’d like to offer some of the ways you practise self care with your wardrobe.

If you need to practise some self care and learn to love yourself I’ve created this free template to help you.  Why not download it today?

 

 

 

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